Life is accumulative. It unfolds through the compounded decisions made from day to day. Herein lays one of life’s great mysteries that shouldn’t be so mysterious. Many go through life without any real thought or planning for their futures. They fly by the seat of their pants, and you know it’s been said; “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
This gross sense of irresponsibility leads to a hard journey. While I believe life will most certainly have its challenges, I don’t believe the entirety of our lives is meant to be one long mellow drama. We have power! We can determine how and where we’ll be ten years from today, and we can do it all by being more conscious and aware of the decisions we make every day.
So, I felt compelled to share this short list of mistakes to avoid because of their destructive power or influence over our lives. The list is not meant to serve as a comprehensive “How-To”, but I hope it will incite deeper and more deliberate thought. I also wish to responsibly state the mistakes featured here are not the only destructive mistakes that one can make. These are just ten, I thought to be, highly destructive and limiting to one’s hopes for a rich and fulfilling life.
- Loyalty to Losers– Please don’t rush to take offense at the phrasing. I’ll explain what I mean by using the word “losers.” We can, at times, commit whole-heartedly to lost causes. Some of us live our lives as martyrs, making it our personal mission to support and maintain things that are real downers. Our loyalties are frequently misplaced and we determine to serve losing companies, losing employers, losing businesses, causes that are less than noble and fruitless, and friendships that leave us emotionally destitute and bankrupt. Loyalty is an admirable and noble quality, but it must be exercised with measured reason. If you’re constantly at a loss because of your loyalties it may be time to reevaluate.
- Badly Timed Silence– Some of us are humble to a fault. I know this sounds nonsensical, but some of what we’ve deemed humility is really pseudo-humility. Humility isn’t dishonesty. Humility isn’t lying down to serve as a door mat for the world to trample under foot. Humility is simply power under control. There are some that fool themselves into believing they don’t have a right to ask appropriately timed questions. (For example, you get a poor performance review at work and you never ask the all important question, why?) You must speak up. Determine to ask the hard questions at the moment they should be asked. Whether at work with a superior or co-workers, in a disagreement with a loved one, or simply trying to make sense of some directive being given, speak up when it’s time. If you refuse to do so and things go badly for you, just remember you created or allowed the outcome with your silence.
- Not Taking the Shot– This may be one of the most common, destructive mistakes made. It’s a most curious phenomenon. People will, for fear of failure, or fear they’ll disappoint someone they respect, not do anything. It makes absolutely no sense when you give it some real thought. It’s far more reasonable to try your hardest if you fear a thing has the potential to go awry. You’d think that where there’s fear of disappointing someone you’d do everything in your power to make them proud. So, many will pass their responsibility on to something or someone else. They’re so convinced they don’t possess the right tools, the right words, the right connections, etc. they don’t even try. They won’t take the shot. I’m an avid basketball fan, and was a pretty good player, and there’s nothing more exhilarating than having the ball, when the game is on the line, to take the last shot. Players practice as kids for this defining moment. We count down, dribbling the ball, imagining others on the court with us, 5-4-3-2, and we take the shot as we count down to 1. But, in life, many are looking for someone to win the game for them, to close the deal for them, to fulfill their dream for them. There comes a time, in life, when each of us has to be ready, willing, and able to take our shot.
- Being a Couch Potato– I don’t mean this in its usual context. Figuratively, many of us settle into our comfort zones in life, business, health, and romance. We get stuck in the ruts of our perceived normalcy. If we overeat, we simply accept the poor behavior as normal because it’s what we’ve always done. If we’re lazy and procrastinate, we accept it as normal because it’s what we’ve always done. We stop doing romantic things once we’ve put some time in the relationship because we fool ourselves into believing it’s not required anymore. Unfortunately, being a couch potato in life bears the same results as just flopping on the couch with our favorite beverage and a family-size bag of chips; we get fat, boring, and we lose our edge. So get out of your comfort zone and do some things that stretch you.
- Relying On Your Job– This is important! The American landscape is different and still changing. The old model is dying, if it’s not dead already. You can no longer maintain the old mindset that said; “go to school, get good grades, and get a good, secure job, with good benefits.” Even if you follow this formula to the letter, you may find yourself like some many others today, highly educated and unemployed or underemployed. You must look for a way to create your own streams of wealth. Be your own boss.
- A Sense of Entitlement– If you now feel, or have ever felt like someone owed you something for doing nothing, you’re suffering from a sense of entitlement. This sense is so destructive because it makes one weak and dependent. No one owes us anything, and we are only deserving of we justly earn. Money always follows value, so create value and you can have all you want.
- Making Your Job About You– Business is all about business, it’s not about you. It’s not about what you want, what you like, what you think of the job, your co-workers, or your boss. If you don’t like the way things are going on your job, if you think you could do it better, leave and create your own business. Then it can be about whatever you want it to be.
- Missing the Real Point– Business is about the bottom line. It’s all about the money! If you don’t agree, it may be one reason you’re unhappy where you are. This is the reason people are being laid off at an alarming rate. Corporate boards are cutting their overhead to retain or gain more profits. The real point is their bottom line, not yours. I’m not judging whether this practice is right or wrong, but the sooner you embrace this truth, the sooner you can decide if you want to remain an expendable asset to the company.
- Being Rash– It’s been said; “Patience is a virtue.” There are so many decisions I wish I could get back because I didn’t value this proverbial truth. If you continue to make rash and hasty decisions without carefully thinking things through, you’ll continue to put yourself in stressful situations. Remember, true and sustainable success doesn’t happen overnight, and if it does it usually is lost just as quickly.
- Living by Contrast– Far too many people live out their days in competition with others. They consciously or sub-consciously live by contrast. They look at what others have and feel envious or discontented with what they have. They perceive the lives of others as so much better than their own. Where this happens, people bring all manner of injury upon themselves. The remedy is to be happy for others no matter the current state of our lives, and simply commit to the simple disciplines that will result in the lives we truly intend and desire.
