I remember so many of the lessons from my childhood. Some I remember because of the warm fuzzies I get when I reflect upon them, due to the extreme value I presently enjoy for having learned them. And, others I remember for the stinging sensation I recall, having had to learn those lessons the hard way.
Nonetheless, I’m grateful for all the lessons and all the teachers. I’m grateful for the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the clear and the obscure. I’m grateful, not only for the experiences that have played a roll in creating the life I now know, but also for the many people that made the unselfish investments into my life. Some of my personally adopted teachers aren’t even aware they were perceived as such, but they instructed well all the same.
I’m hopeful this short series proves helpful to you on your journey, and that maybe they’ll serve as tools to assist you in changing your life. My hope doesn’t presume any change is required, it is simply an offering of good will to play a small part in those instances where a little help is necessary.
- Be a wise observer and pupil: There is a belief; I believe to be equivalent to a mere myth, that “experience is the best teacher.” I can’t say I altogether disagree with this idea, but I do believe it is misleading and limited. Examining the context of this idea is what I believe is most important. I don’t believe we need to personally stick a metal fork in an electrical socket to know it’s not a good idea. I don’t believe we have to suffer from addictive vices to know they can be detrimental to one’s life and overall health. These experiences would certainly teach us something. However, I’m certain that we can simply learn from the experiences of others to avoid the pitfalls they may have been unfortunate to have suffered. A wise observer learns of impending danger by being present and engaged by the happenings occurring around them. A wise student will perceive everything and everyone as a valuable teacher in life. There is something to learn even from those that are social outcasts because of criminality or some other socially destructive behavior. They teach us the perils of that behavior and the importance of honoring and respecting the rights and freedoms of others. It has been said; “Success leaves clues.” So, even regarding socially measured success, we can learn from the habits, actions and disciplines of those that have succeeded before us. Seek to learn even where there are no specified teachers. Teachers are all about us. The key is an openness of mind and willingness to be a life-long learner.
- Practice emotional honesty: This may be a most overlooked and undervalued life principle. As a civilization, we highlight the need to accurately represent facts and details. We teach children, from their youth, to tell the truth. Interestingly, as we mature and grow older, we learn to do our best to maintain the practice of accurately representing the facts and details in business, in education, and in relationships. However, this isn’t the whole truth! It is also true that we learn how to be emotionally dishonest, insincere, hypocritical, and disingenuous in order to save the feelings of others. As we age, it’s as if we believe that people can’t really handle the truth. To make matters worse, we begin to listen, in communication, through the filters of our own emotional dishonesty. We impose and project our thoughts and feelings onto others in discomfort with bearing our souls. It’s important we reverse these habits and begin to share the truth in love. It is healthy for us to confront those we interact with without desiring to create conflict. Please don’t misinterpret! I’m not saying we ought to weaponize the truth and use it to hurt others. I simply believe the world would be better served by more transparency about the real issues, and the real issues, most times, are going to boil down to how we feel about something said or done. Practice emotional honesty and see if the world doesn’t become a better place one person at a time.
- Live your eulogy: This may seem morbid at first glance. But, I cannot count how many funerals I’ve attended where family and friends struggled to find something noteworthy or good to say about the deceased. It’s uncomfortable! So, the point here is to live well. Be kind, generous, unselfish, compassionate, meek, honest, humorous, successful, faithful, and loving. Spend time creating pleasant and heart-warming memories with those you love, with those closest to you. Think of trying to live your life in a way that would be good for humanity if it became the pattern everyone had to follow. Do your best to remove all grounds for regret. Vigorously exercise yourself in your gifts, talents and abilities to leave everything within you with the world. Live in a way that you’ll truly be missed when you have transitioned, instead of the cause for a raucous celebration upon your expiration. Live a life that inspires others to be, do and have their very best in life. Be remembered for more than your delicious pastries or signature dish. Make your life an unforgettable, irrefutable contribution to mankind. Let your life scream loudly from the grave long after you’ve gone on. Live your eulogy!
So, this is the final installment. I’ll continue to pray that more of us will personally commit to some simple disciplines every day, and whether they are taught in the classroom of some formalized institution of learning or simply in the classroom of life, that they serve us well. For the best and most authentic version of ourselves is definitely good for the world.
