Life can be a great adventure, full of highs and lows, mind-numbing, break-neck turns of events, and the occasional feeling we’ve got five plates in the air, while riding a unicycle. We all have responsibilities that require our full attention. These responsibilities manifest themselves, in our lives, in the form of work, and bills, family, taking care of our homes and cars, the pets, our social lives and friends, and maybe some occasional fun. Hey, did I mention the bills, our health and fitness, and keeping others happy, etc…
That was a real mouth full! But, as you may well know, life can be a string of seemingly endless responsibilities. We, at times, can become inundated and overcome with them all.
Interestingly there is something missing from the aforementioned laundry list of things to do. It’s not always obviously noticeable because many of us have allowed these very important matters to slip our minds or fall into the abyss of things forgotten because we’re just too busy to sincerely consider them anymore. The things that go missing, and unchecked, are our dreams, hopes, visions or aspirations.
Due to our robust schedules, all constructed around our hurried and stressful stream of responsibilities, many of us have abandoned our once gleaming dreams, desires and hopes for what we now call the realities of adulthood.
This is a most unfortunate state, and leads to many hurtful and regretful decisions and experiences. Therefore, I hope to offer this short-list of things to consider, to master the balancing act necessary to lead a rich and fulfilling life. We can live responsibly and service our dreams simultaneously, and I actually believe we must in order to be a truly productive contributor to the world community.
- Follow the flight-safety instruction: “Put on your mask first!”- Emerson once said: “To thine own self be true.” If misunderstood, this statement could seem awfully selfish and egotistical. It could appear to be dismissive of others’ needs, desires and well being. But this statement is better understood against the backdrop of a portion of the flight safety instructions. In the event the cabin depressurizes, we are told to “put our mask on first, and then assist others.” This instruction is further contextualized to include our children and other loved ones. The truth is; we are of very little value to others when we are unconscious, overwhelmed, unable to breathe, or even dead. Emerson’s words hold a profound truth in them. It simply means, be well, be clear, be whole, be happy, be kind to yourself, love yourself, make time for you, be true to your dreams and hopes, and then you’ll be good to and for everyone that needs you. So, in every day, create some time for you; especially regarding servicing your hopes and dreams.
- Know the difference between what’s urgent and what’s important: It’s extremely important to understand that balance doesn’t mean being able to do everything at once. Quite honestly, many have balance and juggling confused. We must think of balance as a scale, instead of performing the circus trick of floating several responsibilities in our daily lives at once. Therefore, the key is measurement. We must take earnest measurements of what’s truly important and what’s urgent. Urgent defines those things that, if put off for even one moment, catastrophe is eminent. Important defines those things that are essential, but if we scheduled them for some later moment, failure isn’t inevitable. Interestingly, what we place on the urgent side of our scales of priorities, frequently aren’t even our own issues. We succumb to our sense of responsibility to others’ issues, problems, emotional turmoil and chaos. Set your priorities. Make them unmistakably clear, and be sure they’re predominantly around your own responsibilities, cares or concerns. Getting clear on urgency and importance will truly depressurize life, and empower you to reclaim some of the wasted energy sapped from you under high levels of sustained stress.
- Create more mental order: Many of us understand what it means to do spring cleaning in our homes. We create time to reorganize, tidy up the house, refresh old, worn paint, manicure our yards, etc. Interestingly, we don’t apply that same practice to our mental spaces, our minds. Many of our minds are cluttered, junky and disorganized, but it’s been this way for so long we’ve accepted this state as normalcy. We must take time to consider what’s on our minds, and why. Then, we must consider if there are some things of which we must let go; like bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, contempt, envy and jealousy, pettiness, inferiority, self-loathing, and unworthiness. If we don’t commit to some spring cleaning in our minds, we inevitably develop habits and practices that don’t serve us well. Mental disorder and chaos are often the reasons we do so much to make our lives hard or even hurtful. Focus on increasing your mental order, cleaning up your inner space, and you’ll see the unpleasant and hurtful aspects of your life turn themselves around and take on the shape of your new intentions and feelings.
- Develop an attitude of gratitude: Life isn’t always fair. It isn’t always pleasant. We’re not always favored, and people don’t always do right by us. But, none of these things are in our control. So, while it is well within our rights and power of choice to become angry, or disgusted, or bitter, or to retaliate in pettiness, it’s not advisable. Our energies would be better spent on gratitude for all that is right in our lives, in this present moment. An attitude of gratitude benefits us because it requires us to look for the good, to reflect upon that goodness, and thereby creates more room for that goodness to grow. Gratitude is present, embracing the only piece of time that is truly ours, the now. Gratitude doesn’t provide time to lament over the past, and it’s not upset about any presumption over the future. Gratitude is happy about our slice of heaven in the now. Maybe, it might be beneficial to awaken each day with thanksgiving for your health, your emotional wellness, your family, your shelter, and the fact you have sufficiency for the day. Be grateful, that in the moment, you’re powerful beyond belief. We can be miserable, upset, fearful, resentful, regretful, spiteful and unhappy. And we can be joyful, calm, courageous, free, gentle, kind, happy, and grateful. But, one thing is certain; we can’t be these things at the same time. So, the choice is yours! Choose wisely.
You have power! In one way or another, you’re creating or allowing all that constitutes your life. Take some time to balance the scales of your life. Understand you don’t have to perform circus tricks, you don’t have to juggle. Put your life into perspective, and create your days and your schedule in the ways that most harmonizes with the life you most want.
Take these few tools with you and create the kind of balance that leads to absolute and total freedom in every area of your life. Live well. Be well. And wish the same for others.
